SlowMotion Breakdown
by starbuckfaerie21
Summary: The closet scene in Break On Through
1. Chapter 1

Slow-Motion Breakdown

**Disclaimer: **_Grey's Anatomy doesn't belong to me but I wish Patrick Dempsey did!_

**Rating: **PG-13

**Timeline:** Set during the episode _"Break On Through"_

**Pairing: **Derek/Meredith (of course as if there was another pair I would write about)

As Meredith watched Grace, her elderly patient draw her last breath all she could see was her mother lying there instead. And she was alone. The conversation she'd had earlier with Dr. Webber reverberated in her anxious mind.

"_Do you think she's lonely, my mother?"_

_"Yes, I do."_

Meredith felt the heat rising to her cheeks and she knew that at any moment the dam that held back her tears would burst. Her only thought was that she had to get the hell out of that room. Her chest tightened and she felt slightly dizzy as she headed to the first unoccupied room she could find. It turned out to be a supply closet. Her vision blurred with tears as she fumbled with the knob. It didn't occur to her to lock the door. And she didn't notice Derek standing in the hallway with an expression on his face as he saw her run in the opposite direction.

Meredith sank onto the floor of the tiny room, with her back against the legs of a gurney and tried desperately to catch her breath that came in quick uneven gasps that made her lungs burn.

As Derek entered the room and heard Meredith's sobs he wanted to ask her what was wrong but he couldn't find the words as he came upon her sitting there hyperventilating with pain.

She sensed his presence but she couldn't control her tears. Derek knelt beside her and grasped her hand.

"I can't…"

"Meredith…calm down…just take slow deep breaths."

She gasped for breath and tried again.

"I can't…. I don't…I don't want my mother to die alone.

"Slow deep breaths Meredith."

Wordlessly Derek reached up on a nearby shelf and grabbed an empty paper bag and held it out for Meredith to breathe into.

After breathing into the bag for a few moments, Meredith's breathing returned to normal and the burn in her lungs eased to a dull ache. She allowed herself to rest her head on Derek's shoulder and for a moment they were the people they used to be. The people they'd been before Addison and before they'd hurt each other so much.

Meredith regained her composure, "Thank you."

Derek gave her his trademark grin. "You're welcome."

"I'm okay." Meredith said managing a smile. She didn't know if she was trying so hard to convince Derek or herself.

_Probably a toss up._

"You're okay."

Derek echoed her words as he got to his feet. He just wished he could believe them.


	2. Chapter 2

**Why Weren't You There?**

**A Grey's Anatomy Fanfiction**

**Disclaimer: **Sadly neither Grey's Anatomy nor Dr. McDreamy (Patrick Dempsey) belongs to me.

**Summary: **A re-write of the events of "What Have I Done To Deserve This?" 2nd chapter to Slow-Motion Breakdown"

**Pairing: **Derek/Meredith par usual

Meredith couldn't believe what was happening. She was lying there on her bed with _George_ of all people. Her good friend who always said the right thing. _George_. She knew it was stupid. The truth was that she was lonely. Suddenly the wave of emotion hit her and she was in tears as George worked himself into an excited frenzy on top of her.

"Meredith, what is it? What's wrong?"

She tried to keep the tears at bay.

"Nothing…Nothing's wrong." She managed to say between sniffles.

George looked at Meredith, with her eyes shut tight and the tears rolling down her face and whispered to her, his voice laced with hurt and anger.

"Sleeping with me is really this awful for you?"

With that he got up and left Meredith in her bed crying and calling out to him.

"No George, it's not you…"

The door slammed, drowning out Meredith's words, "It's just that I'm a whore."

Meredith stood in the doorway of her bedroom as George bent down to pick up his shirt.

"There's a suitcase in the hall."

"I was just getting my shirt."

"There's a suitcase," Meredith repeated.

"Yeah, I know…I don't live here anymore. Excuse me."

He said as he brushed past her in the doorway.

_George was always polite…even when he was hurt and angry…George was always polite._

"I just want to know why..you…if you didn't want to…"

"I didn't know, I didn't want to…

After her shift the next night, against her better judgment, Meredith wound up at Joe's.

"You and tequila don't mix well remember?"

_She'd know that voice anywhere._

"Don't…"

"Don't what?"

"Don't be nice to me. I did a terrible thing."

"We all do terrible things."

"No, not like this…I slept with George because he was there and saying all these perfect things…and _damn it…Why wasn't it you?_ _Why weren't you there? _I slept with him because I wanted you…"

"Meredith,"

"I might lose all my friends."

"Well, you won't lose me."

"I've already lost you, Derek. I love you and you have a wife."

"Meredith, it doesn't have to be like this."

"Of course it does because otherwise it wouldn't be my life."

"Meredith,.."

"Stop doing that!"

"Doing what?"

"Saying my name like you love me."

"I do love you."

"If you love me, then why weren't you there for me?"

Derek downed the last of his Scotch and got up to leave the bar.

"I'll always be there for you."

_Finis_


End file.
